cue the inception soundtrack... i have insomnia, i think. sometimes i wake up (or i dream i wake up, really not sure) several times during the night. sometimes i doze off but the million or so thoughts in my head prevent me from actually sleeping. this has been going on for months and i honestly cannot recall the last time i slept through then night, for more than 2 hours. its awful. i've tried reading, using lavender scented things to relax me, working out hardcore and then taking a hot shower, even resorted to tylenol PM and nyquil to make it stop. nothing helps... im constantly up til 4am or later and sleeping in til past 1pm sometimes.
on another related note, the movie inception has been a topic of discussion around the house lately. i saw it when it came out with some friends and loved it. my brother saw it too, and i got it for him for christmas because he loved it so much. we watched it with my family and my mom was hilarious--she had NO idea what went on, no matter how many times we paused it to explain! by the end she was a little more understanding, but not by much. funny thing is, my dads a lot older than her and he followed it pretty accurately. he only stopped us once to confirm something.
the concept is fascinating, if not realistic; but the realistic part is how far planting a seed in someone's mind can take hold on them. like, from the begininning of elementary school, i was decent at math but it took me a little bit longer to grasp concepts. people like my peers and teachers said "she's not a math person" and i started to believe it. fast forward a few grades, and i was ecstatic to get a 65% (lowest passing grade) on the Math B regents. hearing that i wasnt a math person made me think i wasnt one and could never be one. that phrase, that idea, took hold of me. think about that the next time you want to belittle someone who's struggling with stuff.
anyway, these blogs are so random haha i have no idea what direction to take them in. i guess i'll just blog about whatever i feel like every day and see if any thread develops. i just like writing here because it helps me hone my skill for writing anything thats not poetry. believe me, i dont need help writing poetry--i am more than capable of writing good poetry that will be published on my own. my fiction is crap, my short stories weak, and my thoughts are quite scattered. the only thing besides poetry that doesnt need help is my prose, which is an in between of poetry and fiction. also my inner monologue that's constantly running through my head isnt too shabby.. its actually kind of funny. my inner voice is incedibly sarcastic and cynical, even if im not always like that.
alllllrighty then, seeing as its 2am and my insomnia is kicking in (come on, tylenol PM, its been ten minutes please please kick in!!) im going to TRY to go to sleep..early. yea, this is early for me haha.
goodnight bloggers, until next time!
~sam
About Me
- Sam
- i'm samantha, i'm 20 going on 21 and i am a junior English major, but im not here to use proper grammar. im athletic but i also love to write and figured a blog would be a good way to keep up with writing and also help get my thoughts out in a constructive way. i have a lot of opinions about society, especially how i think humanity is suffering because of the "gimme generation" (details on that later). i write mostly poetry but also dabble in prose and want to get into short fiction and all that jazz..hope someone finds this interesting!
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